I have been thinking about how much words really matter. A lot of the time we say things without even thinking how the person might react, maybe as a joke or just for fun but we don’t realize how deep words can be, and even if you thought it was something really funny it might be to a person hearing it. I did not really think about that or even worried until it happened to me.One day at volleyball practice someone said something about how I was not good. I don’t even remember exactly what that person said but it was enough to make me feel embarrassed and sad. At first I just did not really care about it but later it really affected me . I started wondering if they were right. Was I really not good enough? All the time and effort I put into volleyball was for nothing ?
After this situation I changed a lot . I did not feel excited to go to practice anymore. I felt nervous and I did not have the feeling I had when I went to practices, like I didn’t want to be there anymore, also I was scared to mess up and hear that type of comments again. I lost my confidence, the main thing that helps you in everything and because of that I didn’t play like I used to. I was really scared to mess up because every time I do that I get the most horrifying looks I can and It really speaks to me more than real talking. The worst was that I started to believe the small and unserious stuff people have told me. I have thought about not playing the sport I had always loved. I wanted to end where I was right at that moment .
But then something happened that reminded me why I started playing volleyball . It was our last game before the season ended, and I wasn’t really expecting anything. I just wanted to play and get away from my sport. But after the game one of my teammates came up to me and said “I’ve never seen an overhand serve that good before.”That one sentence changed everything for me.I remember my feelings at that moment, I was overwhelmed with happiness. I actually smiled like I really smiled for the first time in a while. That one little compliment changed my future.It reminded me of how hard I had worked and how far I have come. It made me feel like I did something good for my team and that somebody noticed me. Because of small things like that confidence started getting better not only in that sport but in my life as well.
That was when I realized just how powerful words are. One negative comment almost made me stop something I loved and one positive comment helped me become myself again.Since then I have tried to be more aware of the things I say. I try to give compliments when I notice someone doing well even if it’s something small. Because I know what it feels like to need that one kind word.
If you’re someone who doesn’t know how to give compliments, start simple. Like me by just smiling and saying what you notice. Be honest with them, don’t make a compliment when you don’t mean it. From my past experience people might take it in a wrong way . You could just say “Hey, you’re really improving,” and it can motivate a person to do even better. You never know who needs to hear your compliment or who might need your support.I’ve also learned not to take every negative thing to heart. Some people say stuff without realizing the effect it has. But now I know better and I want to use my words to help and make people happy and instead of sad.In the end words are so memorable to people. So I want mine to be the kind that makes someone feel better not worse.
Ivanna Bohdan – DePaul College Prep – DMSF Class of 2029
Photo Credit: Ivanna Bohdan