Before I even start, it’s okay to be alone. Don’t count on anyone but yourself because at the end of the day you know yourself the best out of anyone and you’ll be there when nobody else is. I figured this out after losing my best friends and my boyfriend, it was never your fault though. He cheated and you stayed, your friends ghosted you and they always had favoritism. They mistreated you, sadly you allowed it because you were too scared to be alone and too attached to them to give them up.
This all started on a random night, you were already in a bad place as is. So many hardships, inconveniences, and unnecessary drama were brought into your life without warning, but you never expected to hear that news on this fateful day. Your friend came to you telling you that your boyfriend, that you held so dear to your heart and thought could do nothing wrong, cheated on you with her. There was evidence too, undeniably he did but you didn’t let go. He promised you the world and he said to your face that he’d never cheat on you but he did, it was hard to believe so you didn’t let go, you stayed and continued to love him like he did nothing wrong but there was a large burden on your shoulders. Every time you asked him if he lied about cheating he’d continue to tell you no and gaslight you because he knew you were attached already and would do anything to stay.
While that was going on your friends were slowly drifting away as you talked to them, they acted as if they still liked you and wanted you around but they didn’t. After a while they completely vanished and stopped answering texts entirely, without a word. Then you went crying to that cheating liar. After your friends left you continued to endure with that immature boy and eventually you were called up by your friend again, she said she was mad at you because you allowed him to exploit you and get away with his heinous actions. This led you to break up with him for your friends, but they didn’t want to be your friends anymore because you still had a hard time moving on. You decided it would be best to cut them off too but why? One of your friends went through the same situation with a boy and she stayed, you supported her through every hardship but when it came to you she just left like she hadn’t gone through the same. Your other friend supported her as well but once again, when it came to you she left. It was too late to go back to your “boyfriend” so you decided to reflect.
Why did you stay? Why did you even start dating when you were so happy by yourself in the first place? Why were you so attached now? Why’d your friends and boyfriend leave when they said they’d stay forever? I still don’t know the answer to these questions now but asking myself this led to my final point, it’s okay to be alone.
I learned this lesson all alone, I started off alone before they came around and I’m alone now. Now that I am really soaking in that freedom and solitude, I can see now that you don’t need anyone to feel good, you don’t need anyone to help you heal and at the end of the day you’ll always end up with you. Be your own support, be your own happiness, be your own lover and be your own person because nobody knows you like you know yourself. You matter and your feelings matter and if people in your life aren’t seeing that and don’t care about that then leave them, it’ll take a while to get over those feelings where you miss their presence and you just want to go running back to them but stick to your plan. Once those tendencies and feelings diminish you’ll see that solitude is more peaceful than lonely.
Ah-miya Blankenship – De La Salle Institute – DMSF Class of 2029
Photo Credit: Kenstocker – Adobe Stock