You heard her voice coming from the phone’s speaker, but it took you five seconds to process what she had said. You were confused, but there was nobody around you to help recall what she said. Her words paced back and forth in your head. Each time they turned, a letter was left behind. You rushed to type a message, the keyboard so small on the phone screen. The misspelled words corrected themselves with the same amount of hurry you had. It would have been better if you said something then and there, but at least you asked, even if it was two days later.
You shouldn’t doubt yourself. You shouldn’t wait to see if someone else says something before you do. Speak out, take action. Stand up for what you believe in. It’s not rude or disrespectful. You did what you thought was right, although you may never know if she meant what she said. It shouldn’t matter if you are sure whether or not she was sincere. It matters that you spoke out. It matters that you overcame the rapid breathing, shaky hands, quiet voice, trembling voice.
You’re quiet. You always have been and you probably always will. You understand right from wrong, and you make decisions based on what you think is the right thing to do, but sometimes, even when you know the right to do, it takes some time before you believe you are capable of doing it. You need a push from others. Just like you did last month. It’s fine to get help from others, but it’s nice to believe in yourself. You don’t have to be sure that you can do something, but you have to be willing to break through your comfort zone. Do things that you wouldn’t have always done. It’s good for you, you learn from it.
You should speak out whenever you feel like you need to. It doesn’t have to be something as serious as it was last month, it doesn’t have to be someone’s racist comment. While at the moment I thought it would have been best to confront her about what she said while still in the meeting, I’m glad you still confronted her, even if it was over text. It took you a while to realize, but you’re better with words than you had originally thought. You struggle to make your point when speaking. That might be because you need time to process some things. The day after the meeting, you started typing your message to her quickly, very quickly. Alva told you that you that you might need to draft your message a couple of times, but you wrote it all at once, you didn’t change anything. You knew what you wanted to say and how you wanted to say it. It came naturally, your thoughts poured onto your screen. You learned something.
From July, 2020
Kate Chavez – Northside College Prep – DMSF