To the past me

Dear me in the past, 

Life seems simple to you. You’re one of those popular girls who have tons of friends and never have to worry about losing any of them or worry about being unhappy because you are perfect. At least, you tried to be. As you grow up you start to realize, “What if I’m not that person?” What if you’re the person who overthinks every situation and tries to find any possible way to save yourself from being overlooked as a joke. Stop putting so much effort into being preppy and extroverted. By faking this exciting persona, you’re losing yourself in the process. If “yourself” was ever a thing to begin with. Life may seem like a reality tv show and you’re the winner. Perhaps the prizes are personality traits that make you seem likable. I know sometimes your head fills up like an overflowing cup with “What-if?” questions. What if my future doesn’t go the way I want it? What is people push me away? The future takes time. Although, you’re an impatient person, you have to get used to waiting. Your current friends will ghost you and only some will stay. That “some” are those who believe in your character development. Take Alexa for example. 9 years and not once has she ever doubted your ability to change. She believes in you and so do I.  Overtime you did realize how you were caught up in being everyone’s expectation, you forgot about your own expectations. So stop it. No more “What-if?” It’s about time you start saying “I am.” I AM my own expectation. I AM my own version of perfect. I AM more than enough. Right now, you’re like a na├»ve sapling. Soon enough, you’ll blossom and bloom into a well-mannered apple tree. Each of those apples on the branches of hope are now new reasons to love yourself; to love myself. Sometimes, you may seem discouraged and those apples may fall but until you learn to get up from a great fall, those apples will start growing again. Trust me, you’re worth it.

Sincerely,

Charlize Ramirez – Nazareth Academy – DMSF