To the Younger me

To younger Jahri,
I have done and said some things as a child that I’m not so proud of. I feel like if I knew what I knew now I wouldn’t have done and said those things. I was young dumb and reckless doing things. I didn’t care about the outcome or other people feelings. I chose this topic because I feel like if I get this off my chest it wouldn’t eat me up inside as much. I would say the thing I did or said and say what I know now and
what I would have done differently. First one is when I was in 5th grade in an
argument with my classmate and a lot of mean words were exchanged and I said sorry after but it still hurts me to this day because I know that if she had a choice her hair and stuff wouldn’t have been like that. As I get older I understand the struggle that everyone’s parents were going through and for me to talk about her was not
nice. Second thing I would like to get off my chest is when I was 5 at an family
event and I had an cousin with an hearing problem and I didn’t know but you know as a child everything you did was loud so when my cousin wasn’t responding to me when I was talking to them I was getting loud and saying things like you can’t hear me or some and I said that very loud. Everyone looked at me and said ohhh but as a child
I didn’t think about it as much but as I think about now saying things to special people that are considered rude is not ok and I am really not proud of that moment. If I could have done anything different knowing what I knew now was just leaving my cousin alone and went and did something else. The third thing I would like to get off my chest is when I was racially profiled or being held by the police last year. I would love to get this off my chest because I felt like I could have been a little more patient
and less angry. So what happened was I was on my way from the store in my
neighborhood and it was windy so I had my hoodie on and my hat. When I was on the sidewalk I saw a police car turn on the corner but that was nothing new in my neighborhood but when it started slowly creeping up the street I knew it meant something was wrong or something was going to go wrong. So I started to
walk a little faster and then by that time the cops stopped right in front of me and started staring at me then starting screaming aye telling me to come here I kept walking. Then they stepped out of the vehicle and I stopped because they got louder then I looked back, took off my hat and made sure they got a clear look at my face. Then they stepped in their vehicle and drove off without saying anything.
I felt like I could have passed all that if I stopped but I felt if I stopped something worse could have happened. I am proud of myself for getting these off my chest and thanks for reading my story.

Jahri McClendon – DMSF