Regretted Decision

All these school years, you want everything to be perfect, you want a perfect score, you want a perfect grade even those B’s upset you and make you want to work harder; even at home, you want to be a perfect daughter. Even those mistakes made you feel frustrated about yourself . But looking back at my past I regret those words I said about you because there isn’t a words as a perfect student, perfect relationship, perfect friendship, perfect sister, perfect daughter, perfect score, perfect grade even a perfect life; no one is perfect, but what everyone see differently based on social media but reality everyone made a mistakes once in there life times and it alright because we weren’t meant to be perfect.

You regret spending too much time to make an effort on a project and an assignment that you don’t even bother to take care of your mental health; but, this benefit you to get a good score for the project and an assignment; those score make you feel joyful but you wasn’t feeling motivated to celebrate your hard work because you were very tired due to lack of sleep that you spend working an assignment. For example, remember the time when you got upset with yourself because you got a C in math in 5th grade and you started to sob, sob and sob repeatedly. Ever since that day, you would stay up a little longer to get the assignment done even though it was past your bedtime. So you could never get a C again. 

You don’t even join any activities because you thought they could affect your grade and time but you were wrong. But as I get older, I regret not joining activities that I want to try. I wish you could explore sports, clubs and more activities at your grammar school. There were various clubs that let people join for free and you could’ve used those opportunities to join. I wish I could tell you that you should also focus on what you are passionate about or what you are interested in. I wish that I could tell you that activities aren’t going to affect your grade, there were some activities that you really wanted to join but couldn’t due to tons of assignments and time is going fast. Remember the time you wanted to join volleyball practice or track and field but couldn’t because 8th grade class school years are almost finished and your parents thought it a waste of money to spend $50, if school years are over. Ever since that day, I regret not being persuaded enough to let my mom send me the activities I want to join. 

You thought that if you got a perfect grade it would define you as an intelligent person, that is why you work harder to get a perfect score but that doesn’t define who you are. I realized that we define ourselves based on who we are and we can get to define ourselves by figuring it out based on us not others. It doesn’t matter what grade you get because there are other ways to define who you are based on your personality. A’s and B’s are good grades too. I wish you could know that your teacher wants to see how much effort you put on the assignment during middle school. You put too much stress thinking that the teacher cares what is right or what is wrong on an assignment. I regret spending hours and hours on the assignment to make sure the answer was correct. But looking back at my past self I realize that you were the one to get me to high school and was the one that got me Daniel Murphy Scholarship. You were the most important thing in my life because I learned from my mistakes and I’m thankful to you for showing all these mistakes that I did and I can improve on in future.

What I want to say to my future self is to explore all the activities and sports that you haven’t tried doing yet. I hope you have the best four years of high school and also discover what you want to become as you enter college. I hope you make my high school memorable and meet such amazing people. 

Dear me in 10 years, have you gone to college? Do you know what you want to be? Do you know what major you want to study for? Was it hard when you became an adult? If you do go to college, I’m proud of you for studying. I hope that you find a job that you are passionate about and I know you will be successful. I hope the major you choose is going to be good to use when you find a job. Becoming an adult is hard but let me give you advice when life gets harder; you might want to give up or even quit but don’t because all this hard work will pay off even if you don’t realize it. If you ever feel alone like there is nobody there, remember that nature, all around you, is to show that you are never alone; there at least someone is supporting you and is on your side. I hope you will find a job and become successful but it will happen because I know you better than anyone else. No matter what happens in life, don’t give up, go forward and continue on. Get your feet on the ground even if it is hard to get up. I know you can do it because I believe in you and you should too; even if you don’t believe in you or no people believe in you. You should know that your past self will always believe in you. Good Luck! 


Kimberly Esparza – De La Salle Institute – DMSF Class of 2026

Image credit: Annie Spratt on Unsplash