Dear Younger Me,
Remember Sixth grade, the year where everything came crashing down? Covid-19 just hit, friendships tore apart, and the way you felt distant from yourself and others. Well, let me tell you, it gets better, eventually. As life evolved and you grew up, I learned a lot, so here is some advice I would relish to give you. That feeling of not thinking you’re adequate doesn’t go away completely, but here are some words of affirmation. Never look for your worth in other people. You are enough if you say you’re enough, so take it easy. The only thing that emerges from being too hard on yourself is becoming more insecure. You’re only twelve years old and have so much life ahead of you. I promise things will improve, but you have to have the responsibility to make crucial decisions for that to happen.
When your best friend during elementary school betrayed you, you pushed her away because of it. You began to be destructive and commenced fights with people because you thought it was easier than forgiving and moving on. All the people you built relationships with turned their back on you, so you started questioning your worth. You thought you were inadequate and began to lose the reason why your existence was paramount. That was a lot to take in at the age of twelve, so you shut everyone out. Every day resulted in you breaking down, trying to stay silent while you cried so no one would know how you truly felt. You didn’t want to be perceived as weak, so you put a smile on your face and said, “I’m okay,” even though you felt so much pain. So much internal pain that you wanted everything to end. You didn’t talk to anyone, not even your family, to keep your pride. However, despite your best efforts, you’ll always care regardless of how often you tell yourself that you don’t.
And just as the English author Edwin Paxton Hood expressed, “Be as careful of the books you read, as of the company you keep, for your habits and character will be as much influenced by the former as the latter.” It would be best if you weren’t around people that don’t bring out the best in you. So many friendships broke apart because you didn’t know your worth and let toxic companies control how you viewed yourself. As you grow up and evolve, so should your social circles. You still managed to keep a smile on your face and stay positive at times, so for that, I’m proud of you. You are much more vigorous than you think, so also be proud of yourself. That signifies having gratitude. Be grateful for yourself and the people that support you. They are the people that keep you going, so take the time out of your day to indite a thank you letter or message. That builds stronger relationships that will last lifetimes. I know this is a lot to process, but this is consequential to know. For your relationships to work, you must put time and dedication in. The truth is you’re not always in the right, and that’s completely fine.
Fortunately, you got the closure you deserved and worked on yourself. Overall the biggest thing I want you to know is that all the pain you experienced throughout that year had a purpose. Thanks to all you surmounted, you were able to reflect and transform yourself for the better. Without that hurt and anguish, you wouldn’t have today’s wisdom and knowledge. Although it might not seem like it now, everything happens for a reason, so don’t bottle up all your emotions and push everyone away. Sharing your truth will help others, and you’ll feel less alone. Who knows, it could lead to your future career; you might just be the next best psychologist.
Your Future Self
St. Paul’s School – DMSF Class of 2026
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