Dear Nakia, I’m now a couple years older than you are. I have been through some pretty rough things since i’ve been the age you are. I have a couple words of advice for you based on those experiences. Although I wish that I could’ve done a few things differently, I can’t. But I can give you advice on what I would’ve done differently if I would’ve known what I know now. During this time of your life you are starting middle school while in an unprecedented pandemic. This was a hard time for everyone, but you especially took it hard and were very sensitive during this time of your life. Starting an entirely new school was hard enough but the pandemic made it harder.
Friends, they come and go and they definitely aren’t forever. They will almost always have a reason for being there. Although you will meet some people who will be in your life for longer than you expected. You shouldn’t try to fit everyone in one category together, you’ll definitely experience and learn from that mistake a couple times. Some friends become more than just that, they become family. Those are the friendships that last a lifetime. Most of all, don’t pretend to be someone you’re not or try to “ fit in”. During this time in your life you felt like you had to be friends with one particular friend group but if you would’ve known what I know now then you would’ve stayed far away from this group. Your time within the group came to an end in a very bad and toxic way and you will always look back on it wondering what you could’ve done differently. They were a true example of the saying “snakes in the grass”. They were only in your life for their own benefits and you came to that realization once they had shown their true colors. They will constantly put you down and make you believe that everything is your fault and you’re the reason things went wrong, which isn’t the case so don’t believe what they or anyone has to say. Of course there are two sides to any story and their side probably has something to do with your “mistakes” but you know your truth so don’t believe anything other than just that. Although you shared good memories with them and it wasn’t all bad, those memories definitely weren’t worth the anxiety, insecurities, toxicity, and many more negative things you experienced while being a part of this group. You’ll become so happy and free when you fully detach yourself from them in your 8th grade year and meet new friends.
Relationships, they come and go just like friendships. You’ll definitely experience some heartache in these years but you’ll experience some healing within this time. You learn to love and trust from a distance just to stay safe. You’ll have a couple moments where you regret some things you do and the way you act within these relationships but remember it’s all a part of the journey and story. Keep your guard up and stay on your toes because you will get taken advantage of and you don’t want to or deserve to be. You’ll find your person who makes you truly happy but remember you’re still in middle school and it isn’t forever so don’t get too attached to a point where you can’t unattach.
Stay focused, you’ll have many distractions and encounters that will throw you off track a little bit. You will make dumb decisions throughout your life, but don’t worry or be so hard on yourself because you’ll make many more as life progresses. Just stay focused on your goals in and outside of school because eventually you will get it together your 8th grade year. If you stay focused on your own goals and dreams then good things will become a part of your life, and stay a part of your life. So make sure that once you get your stuff together that you keep it together.
In life, especially those middle school years, you will never be satisfied with what life throws your way but just try to have fun with it and do it your way, even when someone tries to stop you. You are and always have been the light in a room full of darkness, so don’t try to blend in the dark after a while. Do it for you and you only because if it’s to someone else’s benefit then it becomes draining and will be hard on the person that you are as well as who you are becoming. Be true to who you are
Nakia Hudson – DeLaSalle Institute – DMSF Class of 2027