Hi younger me. I know you’re going through a stressful time. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to have good grades but, what’s wrong is wanting your grades to be absolutely perfect no matter the cost. This is leading you to an unhealthy lifestyle and causing high levels of stress. You should believe me because I went through the experience and now know better than to believe the flaw concept of being perfect. The idea of wanting you to become perfect is leading you astray. You wanting to be perfect with your grades is now leading you to want to be perfect in your classmate’s eyes whether it be with what you wear, how you do your hair or how you act. The ongoing pursuit of perfectionism can lead to depression and anxiety. It’s ok to not be perfect. I mean nobody’s perfect. Perfection is completely unrealistic. It really does more harm than good. At such a younger age you should not want to be the best of the best. All you really have to do is try your best. The biggest gift you have is trying your best. Even if you got a F on a test and weren’t perfect, the one thing you know in your heart is that you tried your best and that’s what really matters. You might think that perfectionism can make you more organized and adaptive. Yes but at the same time you’re giving up your mental health for that. When you are a perfectionist you are going to think that if you do one tiny thing wrong that you failed at life. That gives you a false perspective of yourself and that’s not building you up as a person. You are losing your self confidence being a perfectionist like I’m not a perfectionist anymore and I have a lot of build up self confidence. A lot of time perfectionism is rooted in the fear of failure. It’s ok to fail because it gives you new learning experiences. It gives you the opportunity to start again even better than you were before so basically a second chance. Also failing can make you stronger than you were before. It’s ok to take risks. I understand how you must feel when you get a low grade or when you get told that your presentation wasn’t good enough but that self criticism won’t get you anywhere in life.
You being a perfectionist is leading you to many bad habits and it’s important to improve and learn new habits. If you really think about it, being a perfectionist didn’t give you many skills and didn’t gain you anything but good grades and a good record but you have to think about the bigger picture. Don’t do stuff for other people just do it for you because it will help in the future mentally. I promise you that nobody is living a perfect life with all good grades and a good record without having something else in their lives. Everybody is different in their own way and everybody is fighting their own demons so don’t stress out if you aren’t the best of the best. To be honest not everyone is who they present themselves to on the outside. They could be going through something mentally but not show it so comparing your life to another is useless. You have to stay true to yourselves and not over react. If I’m going to be honest there are a lot of times where you have overreacted to something that is perfectly normal. There were a lot of challenges in your life and there are still going to be challenges in the future but you just gotta keep pushing. Stop worrying about the small things and get rid of being a perfectionist and just stay strong no matter what.
Luwam Araia – St. Ignatius College Prep – DMSF Class of 2027