Lost and found

Dear my younger self,

How are you doing? Well I already know that you are dealing with something, Im telling you now that it is your least worries. As you get older your life is most definitely going to change. As I know that things have already happened that shouldn’t have, but that’s okay you can’t change that. Mistakes are a part of life. Embrace them, learn from them, don’t be sad about these small faults that have happened. Keep going! I am here to prevent you from making bigger errors in life that I obviously already went through. I don’t regret it, because it was still significant. It made me into the person I am now. Yet I want you to have a better experience throughout elementary school than I did.

When you move into 4th-5th grade. You’re going to feel like you have nobody there for you, losing yourself mentally and physically, and figuring out how you got to this point. Trust me IT IS NOT a good feeling.. So first you’re going to experience some changes in the environment, mind you, you just had moved to Plano, IL so you’re still new to it. Just go on a ride or something with momma, Niyah, and Alonna, (you will also have a little brother that will be born while in 4th grade) to see what they have around there so you won’t be clueless when your classmates and associates talk about certain places and things there, because I was lol.

To talk about friends.. you’re going to meet people who are going to pretend to be your friend just because your new “ they want to observe you” don’t put any energy into them. (By the way Today we call them “fake”). Also be mindful of the people who you hang around, and this is so important because I didn’t do this and it dug me into a deeper hole. Like me being under the influence of them, them trying to control me and change the things I personally liked. When I tell you DO NOT LIE ABOUT THE THINGS YOU LIKE JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE DOESN’T LIKE IT….listen. I wasn’t aware of this and I lost myself. I was so confused. Also don’t change your style just because you feel like others won’t like it. Wear what you want, don’t worry about those people. They’re not wearing it so they shouldn’t care and if they did WHO CARES. If they don’t like you for you then that’s on them. People are going to come and go out of your life if they decide to leave, don’t let them come back in unless it’s serious but otherwise no! REMEMBER. “They chose their side before and left you. What makes you think they won’t do it again?”, leave them be. YOU DO NOT NEED FRIENDS… life goes perfectly fine without them. I suggest you think about this because you will never know anybody’s real intentions. I know I sure didn’t and that’s what led me to losing myself in the first place. I want you to talk to the people that fit you best, don’t rush trying to be with the “so called popular girls. Now that I look back those girls you think are all that they weren’t!. When I was you I went through roller coasters of emotions almost every day just cause I was trying to be someone I wasn’t. I’m trying to prevent you from it. It is going to be hard to do all of these things but keep this thought in your head or at least re read this letter.

Now I’m going to talk about how life is for me now. I found myself and I’m fine now but sometimes I’m not and that is normal, I found a friend group that loves me dearly and I do the same. I have a best friend that I’m really close to. I know my style but I can’t put a name on it exactly. I also don’t lie about what I like if someone doesn’t like it anymore. Me and my friends like to have a fake debate on which is better but in a funny way (just to let you know). I found my own personality. Which I never really thought I’d find because it was the hardest trying not to change me for somebody else but as I got older I would say I got more nonchalant about who, and what cares about me. if they can’t accept it then leave me alone. Finding myself was a big moment in my life, also another part in my life that had significance. Again, I want you to live the life that I didn’t in elementary school and enjoy it till it’s fullest. If you don’t know, I’m now a Freshman. Nobody’s life is actually all good when you’re not being you but when you just continue being yourself it’ll turn out just fine.

Thank you,
Sanaa Davis.

Sanaa Davis – DeLaSalle Institute – DMSF Class of 2027

Image by Jan Alexander from Pixabay