What’s up Mateo? This is you from 5 and a half years in the future. I am 14 years old right now, and about to go to high school. You’re going into fourth grade, so I know that hearing this would be pretty big information at that time. I knew high school existed, but only in TV shows and movies. We never comprehended actually leaving the school we’d been in almost our entire lives, and being this old. Right now, I can’t even comprehend graduating high school, going to college, getting a job. But a future version of me that’s at that point is looking back at me right now, and maybe you too. While I can’t get any advice from them, I have some for you.
I know you’re still going through the pandemic and whole quarantine thing, but I’m gonna keep it real. You’re getting big. You’re getting dumb. It’s harsh, but it’s the truth. You’ve been slacking off since it all started. A lot of kids in your grade are doing the same. But some of those kids are accustomed to it, You aren’t. You were always the fastest kid, the one who challenged every new kid you met to a race. You were always one of the students that finished your math packet first. But ever since online learning started, you’ve felt no need to keep any of that up since covid started, which isn’t entirely your fault. You had to stop playing outside with your neighbors, going to parks with your cousins, riding your scooter outside. For you, quarantine feels like both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, you don’t have to go to school in person. You don’t have to wake up early, you don’t have to follow a meal schedule and can eat whenever you want. You felt like you didn’t have to worry about anything.
While on the other hand, you don’t get to see your friends anymore. You don’t get to race people outside at recess and play tag., You can no longer feel like a little kid again. But that was fine with you. As much as you loved running around, you also loved video games, roblox, and minecraft. I know the thought of being able to do that all day instead of school sounds amazing, but actions have consequences. You haven’t started fourth grade yet, so take my year as an example. I went about the school year thinking I could do whatever I wanted. I skipped classes, woke up late, didn’t do any homework, and ate junk all day without exercise. That continued for almost the entirety of third grade, and the first half of fourth. Towards the end of the school year, all of those actions started to catch up to me. I was failing my classes. I went from starting third grade as an A student, then covid and elearning hit, resulting in me ending third grade as a B-C student, and starting up fourth grade as a D student.
My mom got so many emails and calls from teachers. I got so many long talks, punishments, and whoopings. I would just blame it on the internet or the zoom app. So many one on one zoom calls with teachers. It got so bad CPS was called to my house, meaning a police officer rang my doorbell one morning, to which I instantly ran to tell my mom. He told my mom that they had called to check up on me due to how many zoom classes I missed. She wasn’t aware, as I would tell her every morning when she would call to check on me, that I had joined the meeting. I showed her the first few seconds of my computer before I would leave.
Because of this, the last few weeks of the second quarter of fourth grade consisted of sitting through each zoom class, to which my mom accompanied me, right beside me. She helped me as I struggled with the work, showing her how behind I was. She helped me raise my grade from a D to a B in a few weeks, but that wasn’t all.
She put us in Hybrid learning, the god awful mix which was 2 days a week in person, and then Thursday and Friday which were online. It might not seem like such a big deal to you, but you don’t realize yet how far you can slip without noticing. Come the start of it, my social skills were nonexistent. I didn’t remember how to socialize with people, how to connect, make friends. I looked around at the empty class, occupied by around 5 other students, none of them which were my friends before online learning. They all seemed so smart, clearly having done the work during the school year. I was trying to catch up, but nowhere near their level.
I felt embarrassed whenever I was called on, not feeling confident in myself. I had realized how much weight I gained, how awkward and dumb I was. I spent every day trying to avoid any social interactions. I spent every day of my lunch sitting on the opposite end of the lunch table, not eating the food my mom packed for me. I didn’t want them to think I was fat, nor see me under my mask. I would pretend I was disgusted with certain foods, scrunching my nose under the mask, staying silent but trying to convey the message that I didn’t eat a lot to my classmates on the other end of the table. I would throw my food out, and tell my mom when I got home how good it was.
I spent the rest of the school year the same way, starving myself, going to the bathroom whenever my stomach would growl, and avoiding social interactions. It got to the point where teachers would pity me. They would tell my classmates right in front of me that they had to include me in their games, and conversations, speaking on my behalf. So she would place me with them at their tables during free time, where I’d sit silently gripping my stomach. Fifth grade was even worse somehow.
Ay but we’re not here to talk about me. You need to start doing some push ups and burning off all that weight. I’m pretty sure school hasn’t started for you yet, meaning you haven’t gotten that big, so it should be easy. I remember how boring online learning was and honestly I probably would still have missed almost the same amount of classes. You’re gonna need some moments of embarrassment and self resentment to be able to grow and realize you need to do better. Even though we ended up good, that doesn’t mean you should make the same mistakes. For reference, even though I learned from those mistakes, there’s still lingering effects. I spent almost half of an entire school year catching up on missed learning. If I were to have been where I needed to be, and instead spent that time going past the level we were at, I could have been ahead of my grade level. I could have started working out with an average physique, rather than starving myself until I was skinny, then having to force feed myself to gain weight.
I know we hate corny conversations but we can genuinely accomplish incredible things. If I listen to my own advice right now, and I stay on the path that I need to be on, there almost won’t be a need for my future self to be writing to me right now, or thinking about what I could have done differently. I’m sure it’s impossible to avoid completely, but I don’t want a strong feeling of regret later on in my life. Alright bro, have a good rest of your summer, and remember what I’m telling you. Peace.
Mateo Salamanca – DePaul College Prep – DMSF Class of 2029
Photo Credit: Olivia – Adobe Stock