A piece of advice I would give to my past self is to be mindful when making friends. I would tell my past self because I have had many instances where I thought that I had an amazing and it turned out to be the worst friend for anyone to have. I had this friend who would constantly talk bad about me, including straight to my face, without me realizing it. One time that I really caught when she was talking bad about me and my family was when we were having a sleep over.
At the beginning we were having an amazing time until she started making small comments which I later came to the realization that she was throwing insults at me. First, she was telling me about a topic I had little to no idea about. She kept over explaining things and was talking to me like I was intelligent and had never heard the words that were coming out of her mouth. This upset me greatly, but I didn’t say anything because I wanted to see how much she would say. Later on in the evening we were playing a game and we started to talk about different things. She then started to talk to me about how my mom should stop being so controlling over me, at the time I was clueless that she was talking bad about my mom, so I agreed with her.
This agreement then led to a future argument with mom, causing me to realize that she was insulting me about my mom. When I noticed she was throwing insults at me the majority of the time,I realized that she was not a good friend. I also started to realize more of the little things she would do. For example, I would notice that when I was with her she would whisper false things about me or she would tell my secrets to everyone, leading to people coming to me and asking if the rumors were true. I soon came to the realization this was not a friend and more of an enemy. I became distant with her and blocked every social interaction I had with her. I started to talk to my other friends but it pained me not to send her every video that was funny or something we could relate to. It was hard for me to stop, when I used to talk to her every single day.
This impacted me heavily, it made me feel like I was never enough. Causing me to shut out the ones I loved the most, including my parents. It sent me to this state where I felt I had no one to talk to. When I felt this way I would keep to myself, stop talking as much, and stay in my room for most of the day. My bubbly personality had suddenly become darker as darkness became my best friend.
My so-called ‘friend’ being a traitor helped me realize that she is not what real friends are supposed to look like. Friends are supposed to be always there for you, trustful, caring, and respectful. She was the complete inverse of what a good friend would do, especially when it came to being trustworthy. This situation also taught me that people won’t always stay the same and have personality that they used to have. People eventually change over time and won’t be the same person you met then compared to now. That is something I really had to learn because at the time, I couldn’t come face to face with the harsh reality that people change. This hurt me to realize this, but sometimes you have to give up on the people you thought you can go to and trust.
In conclusion, I would tell myself to watch out for people like her when making new friends and try to be on the look out for people who will most likely do the same. I would also tell myself that people change even if you’ve known them for a long time and that you have to face reality when it comes down to these types of situations.
Andreanna Cunningham – Carmel Catholic High School – DMSF Class of 2029
Photo Credit: Aquir – Adobe Stock