Dear me,
You are a very sweet, caring, and loving person. These are such beautiful traits to have but people can take advantage of it so you need to watch out. I know that M had his friend D approach you. You already knew from your friends that they were both not good people and I know you had a gut feeling about them too. You’ve seen them bully kids and taunt them who have done nothing wrong but be themselves. I’m glad that you said no the first time but you need to stick with it. Do not change your decision.
M and his friends are the people who will take advantage of you and manipulate you. I would know this because I have gone through this. M bullied me, isolated me, and took the spark out of me. He told my friends that I didn’t like them and talked about them which wasn’t true but only a few stuck with you. In class he would make jokes about me, refuse to work with me when the teacher told him to, spread rumors about me to almost the entire school that were not true and did not sound like me at all to people who know me. He’d make fun of my hair, my cultures, my clothes. He made me cry every night. Sounds a bit confusing, doesn’t it? It doesn’t make sense how he could dislike you and say all these things about you when he practically begged to be with you. He knew you’d say yes eventually to be with him because he knew you were nice. He also knew that you trusted his friends and confided in them so he would then use what they told him against you. That’s not liking someone at all, that is manipulating them.
Since your fifth grade year you have changed. You are not the same person. Sometimes it is good to change. I am a lot better now, but in this situation you did not need to be changed. M, and D were terrible people who may have had good intentions in the beginning, but were not good people overall. I have learned from this experience to stay sweet, caring, and loving but to also protect my emotions. You may not think it at this time but it will help you.
If you keep your first decision like you saw during that first week, if you don’t engage with M and D, they’ll eventually leave you alone. Rumors won’t be spread, friends will be kept, you will enjoy class. Him and his friends won’t bother you, and will eventually forget about you. When that happens, you’ll be able to enjoy fifth grade. Not one where your memories are just of you crying.
I know that all of this may sound scary, and you may not believe me. Please trust me when I say this: You’re doing the right thing. Keep being you, but protect that beautiful heart. You are stronger than you think, and you don’t need to please anyone but yourself.
With love and wisdom,
Me.
Janai Jenkins – Carmel Catholic High School – DMSF Class of 2029
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