I get mad quickly, I’m not going to sit here and act like I don’t. Especially when I have repeated myself over and over. Have you guys ever been in a situation where it’s not even that deep, but it builds up because people don’t listen the first time? That’s pretty much where I’m at, it’s not always about some big argument or disrespect, it’s the little stuff that stacks up and makes you feel like nobody’s actually hearing you.
Like when people ask me how old I am, I’m going to tell them straight up, and they look at me like I’m lying or trying to be funny. Then that ends up making me say it again, after a while, it doesn’t feel like a question anymore, it feels like they’re trying to play me. That’s when it shifts from “just a question” to “you not taking me seriously.” Who wouldn’t get irritated by that?
Now I’m not going to act like I’m always mad at the person saying it. Most of the time, I’m mad cause I let it get to me, also if you are reading this, maybe you do that too. You let the smallest comment or action get in your head, and now your whole vibe is off. That’s what I’m working on, recognizing it’s not always about them, sometimes it’s just my reaction that needs to get checked.
If I’m being real, if you’re a teen, you’d probably feel this too. It’s like we’re all carrying so much already, then someone says or does one thing and we explode. People look at us like we’re doing too much, but they’re not seeing everything that led up to that moment. We’re tired, we’re frustrated, and we feel like nobody’s listening. So sometimes the anger doesn’t come from that one moment, it comes from all the other ones before it.
But this is what I had to realize, I can’t keep giving people that much control over me. That’s the realest thing I’ve learned so far. People are going to say dumb stuff, they’re going to doubt you, They’re going to joke like you’re not serious. But how do you react? That’s on you, that’s your power.
So if you feel like me, if you are getting mad fast, especially when people don’t listen, just know you’re not alone. But also know that you have to decide when it’s worth it. Not everything deserves your energy. I’m still learning that. I’m still working on staying calm, cause I have goals and I can’t let small stuff throw me off every time.
At the end of the day, I can’t control how people act, I can’t control if they believe me, if they respect me, or if they even understand me. But what I can control is how I move, how I carry myself, and how I respond. That’s what I’m focused on now, keeping my peace, even when everything in me wants to snap.
Because once you give them that reaction, they win. That’s the part I’m learning the hard way. Some people do stuff just to see if they can get under your skin. And the moment you let them, now you’re the one looking crazy. So now, I just remind myself, silence is loud too. Not every battle needs a response, and not every response needs to be loud. Sometimes the best thing you can do is stay in control, not for them but for you.
“You can’t control how people see you or treat you. All you can do is control how you move.” – Brent Faiyaz
Erik Miles – De La Salle Institute – DMSF Class of 2029
Photo Credit: Erik Miles