Hey Sarah,
I know you’ve probably heard this a bunch of times, but seriously — you’ve got to start loving yourself first. Not in a “self-love quotes on Pinterest” kind of way, but seeing your worth without needing someone else to prove it to you.
I know that Mama and Dad say little snippets of encouragement like this all the time when you complain about how you feel ‘alone’ or ‘left behind’, but now that I’ve lived through this experience, I understand and agree with what they’ve said. I know exactly how you’re feeling right now.
Let’s talk about Angie. I know it feels awful watching her drift away, making new friends, laughing with other people. It feels personal — like you’re being replaced. That hurts, like being punched in the stomach. I’m telling you, though, that pain won’t last forever. I know it feels huge now, but it won’t always feel like this. Losing a friend like that is hard, but it’s not the end of the world. You’re not being left behind — you’re starting on a new path. You will find people who treat you the way you deserve, and you won’t have to question if they want you around.
And please don’t blame Angie for “leaving you behind”. She didn’t come out and say anything about wanting to talk to other people, and yeah, that’s frustrating. But sometimes friendships just grow apart, and people don’t know how to communicate when they want to move on. This experience is universal, almost like a rite of passage. It’s not just you, and you are not alone. What does matter is how you respond. Holding on won’t fix anything — it’ll only make it harder to heal. Let her go, not because she’s a bad person, because she isn’t, but because you’re ready to move forward.
Talk to new people. Smile at someone you sit next to. Just try. There are more friendships along this path, with people with whom you can relate and laugh.. Some of them will stick around for a long time. One of them might even become your best friend. And if you lose people along the way, that’s okay, too. You’ll be fine, I promise.
Whatever you do, don’t shut yourself off. Don’t stop showing up just because it’s easier to stay quiet and isolated. You still need to connect with others. You need people around you — even if it’s just one or two — who remind you that you’re not alone. And yeah, school’s going to get harder, but you’re smart and strong, and you can handle it. You just have to keep showing up for yourself.
Things won’t always be easy, but they’ll get better. You’ll grow. You’ll heal. You’ll find your people. You’ll start to love who you are.
And I love you too. A lot of people do, and it doesn’t seem like you realize it. You need to. I hope one day, you’ll say that to yourself and mean it. This is a little bit cliché, but you’re more than enough, just as you are.
— You
Sarah Bonnin – Lake Forest Academy – DMSF Class of 2029
Photo Credit: admitchell08 – Flickr