Dear 12 year old Me,
Last year around the time school started you were best friends with this girl ( Niona ) . you were inseparable until you tried to control and overpower yall friendship not knowing that it would slowly drive yall two apart for some time. Because of the choices I made me and Niona got into a really huge argument and stopped talking for about 6-7 months and we are currently not best friends anymore. I let my selfish and naive ways get in the way of a long lasting best friendship.
Hi Younger kacey I want to talk to you about something that’s been on my mind for almost a year now, I know you didn’t fully understand at the time because you were still learning yourself and the world also there was a lot going on around this time. We were in a friendship that meant a lot to us.. 3 years of laughter, fun/games, memories, and loyalty between you and Niona. But then you started to try to control it instead of letting it breathe.
It’s ok only I know why you did it, you genuinely cared and didn’t wanna lose your best friend I understand. You thought that by keeping things close and setting expectations and doing things your way you could protect the friendship yall had, but doing that you forgot something that really really matters… You don’t own friendships, you build them together from the ground up, you create an inseparable bond for everyone to see. We didn’t mean to hurt and drive Niona away, we just didn’t realize that even Best friends need space too.
This letter isn’t to shame you or lower your self-esteem, I get why you did it and I forgive you she does too. But I also want you to learn from it, the strongest friendships aren’t built upon control there build up on trust. A real best friend connection doesn’t come from holding on tight, it comes from allowing people to be who they are knowing they’ll still choose you in the end. Yes you lost something important, yes it hurt but the pain taught you how to be a better bestfriend/friend that’s all that matters. Now you have a new best friend De’Jaayla you’ve been a good bestie to her I hope it last and I hope you learned from these past mistakes made with Niona
And to Niona , I owe you a genuine deep apology. Looking back I can see how I did wrong trying to control our friendship instead of appreciating it for what it was. I apologize for starting an unnecessary argument with you. You had done nothing wrong to me or our friendship. I was just trying to be a bossy friend instead of an encouraging, supportive, and loyal friend that was so wrong and disrespectful to you and to myself. But I also want to say thank you to you for allowing me to get a break from friendships to work on myself and become a better person also a better friend. If I didn’t have that altercation with you then I don’t think I would have grown better as a friend or had the realization I now have. I maybe wouldn’t have the courage to even speak about this situation if I hadn’t grown as a person.
Kacey Ross – De La Salle Institute – DMSF Class of 2029
Photo Credit: Prazis Images – Adobe Stock