Dear 7 year old me,
Please try to do your best at not getting in trouble at school, to not get or let anyone or anything get the chance to make you mad. The outcome will be your mom and her wife beating on you, abusing you for these next four long years okay.
I can teach you to always trust your gut, to be yourself, and don’t do anything that can cause a terrible situation that you don’t and shouldn’t have to go through. Try to avoid the way you say certain things including your tone. That’s the main thing that you would want to focus on when talking to them. If they think you did something wrong they will abuse you so I would tell you to not do anything that can make their beliefs way stronger than your own words even if you know it’s true.
How you can even possibly try to prevent or avoid these bad outcomes are doing well in school, at home, and most of all everywhere you go, if they think that you are embarrassing them in public don’t even try to say that you’re not even though you’re not because the they will just wait until you get home and then beat you there. Don’t say terrible things to your mom, your sister, and her wife because that will make things worse not only for your physical appearance but also your mental health.
You’ll seem like a crazy kid that does weird things to other people. Don’t let your intrusive thoughts take over the better of you because once they do it’s like the main trigger point of all of the abuse that I your future self have received. Remember that the best possible way is doing well in school, get good grades, don’t get in trouble to the point where they call your dad that is only going to beat you because of what they tell him that isn’t even the real truth.
I want you to understand that everything that could possibly try to say and do most definitely won’t work on your dad because he doesn’t try to listen to what comes out of your mouth. It is almost as if you’re not even his son. I have recognized that my younger self is not in a safe predicament for him to even get to be himself. Whatever you have gone through already just know this: you will overcome what you have gone through. You will one day make a trigger notecard and anytime that you feel that you are about to get mad you can use that notecard to take your anger out on and once you have overcome it fully you will forget about it completely.
Lastly I want you to know that your future self (aka me), has already gone through the things that I want to change for you. If any of this doesn’t help stop the abuse then know that the court that your grandma is in is fighting for you. Your grandma will win, and she will help you become a way better person than you ever would have been if you stayed with your mother. So just know this: I am going to heal this trauma and take it off of your hands.
Isaiah Franklin – Chicago Hope Academy – DMSF Class of 2030
Photo Credit: Gealt – Pixabay