Dear 11-year-old Ivory,
It’s been a long time since I’ve felt how you feel right now and I want you to know that it’s okay. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone, just do your best to push through it. If I told you everything was going to be perfect, I wouldn’t be telling the truth. There are still going to be hard days, moments when you question yourself, and times when you feel like giving up. I’m writing this because I know exactly how you’re feeling right now, and I promise that the pain and confusion you’re experiencing won’t last forever.
I want you to know that there is something that’s going to happen and it’s going to hurt you a lot. There will be a time where Dad says hurtful things about you. Those words shouldn’t be heard or said to a girl your age because you are still very young. You might start believing what he says but pay no attention to that. That is just going to push you farther back and you don’t need that right now. You need to start changing things that are holding you back. Learn to let go. It’s something you lack right now, but once you’re older, you won’t have any hesitation to do so.
I want you to remember that words don’t define you. Don’t carry those hurtful comments with you for years, like I did. Instead, talk to Mom. She’ll tell you advice that you truly need to hear. Don’t shut her out. Talk to her about how you are feeling instead of keeping everything bottled up inside. It won’t make the pain disappear overnight, but it will remind you that you’re cared for and loved.
One of the biggest changes is the relationship with Mom. I’ve learned to appreciate Mom more than I ever did before. Over time, we’ve built a strong, trusting relationship, and now I consider her one of my best friends. I tell her about everything, there are almost no secrets I’m keeping from her. I know it might be difficult to open up to her now, but one day you’ll realize she’s always been on your corner. Let her help you because you don’t have to carry everything by yourself.
In case you were wondering how I’m doing now, I’m doing wonderful. I’m at an amazing point in my life right now. I’m more mature and I know how to react and what to do in difficult situations. This might be shocking but it’s true, you should take that into consideration. Now that I’m in this new chapter in my life I can confidently say take a different path, change how you feel right now and even if you’re scared at least try. Take every opportunity that comes your way because each one will help you grow. Some of the best opportunities will seem intimidating at first, but every single one will help you grow into the person you’re meant to become. Looking back, I don’t regret taking chances because they led me to where I am today.
I’ve made new friends because I chose to step outside my comfort zone. They’re great. They don’t treat me like the friend group you had in 5th grade. They accept me for who I am and you’ll really learn the true definition of friendship. Don’t settle for people who make you feel less of yourself, you deserve friends who make you feel appreciated and safe.
You’ll be happy to know that my grades are still straight A’s. Keep working hard, but remember that your worth isn’t measured by your report card. It’s okay to make mistakes because that’s how you learn and improve. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself to be perfect all the time.
This is a lot of new stuff for you and I understand that, but it’s all important, you need to know about all of this because I hope this can change your perspective right now. You have your future self talking about all these positive things so it’s pretty simple on what I’m trying to get at here. Take a different path, change almost everything that’s going on right now, and take every opportunity you receive. You have so much potential, even if you can’t see it yet. Believe in yourself, keep being kind, and don’t let fear make your decisions for you. Doing all of that will take you to where I’m at now. In the future you are happy, confident, and surrounded by people who really do care. The future is waiting for you but you have to take the chances, learn from your struggles, and keep moving forward.
So if there’s one thing I want you to remember, it’s this: take a different path. Don’t let fear stop you from accomplishing what you want to accomplish. Don’t let hurtful words get in the way of what you want for yourself, which is improvement, not to be setback. Take every opportunity that comes your way, it’ll shape you into the person you’re meant to become. Trust yourself, trust the people that love you, they’re always going to be there for you, no matter what, even if you feel like they aren’t.
Truly Yours,
Ivory
Ivory Medina – Latin School of Chicago – DMSF Class of 2030
Photo Credit: sirins – Adobe Stock