Dear, Montreana Lee
I know you spend a lot of time wondering if you’re enough. You stand in front of the mirror picking apart the things you wish you could change, and you compare yourself to everyone around you without even realizing you’re doing it. So before I tell you anything else, let me tell you the one thing I wish someone had told you sooner: love yourself. Not when you’re prettier. Not when you’re taller. Not when people finally notice you. Right now, exactly as you are.
There will be days when you feel invisible, like everyone else belongs somewhere except you. You’ll wonder why it seems so easy for everyone else to make friends, find love, or fit in. You’ll think being different is something to hide. But one day you’ll realize that the very things that make you different are the things people will admire most. As Laufey sings, “You’re so much more than just your past.” Please believe that before life has to teach it to you the hard way.
I know you think love is something you need to chase because everyone around you seems to have it. Friends will talk about crushes, relationships, and being chosen, and you’ll quietly wonder when it’ll be your turn. But don’t rush it. Love is not a prize you earn by changing yourself. You don’t have to shrink your personality, hide your feelings, or become someone else just so someone will stay. The first person you have to choose every single day is yourself.
You’ll think basketball is your future because people keep telling you that you’re tall enough for it. You’ll convince yourself that your height has already decided your story. But here’s something you don’t know yet: just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean it’s what your heart wants. Don’t let other people write your dreams for you. If volleyball makes you smile more, if it makes your heart race in the best way, then let yourself choose it without guilt. Your happiness matters more than people’s expectations.
You’re going to lose people. Friends you thought would stay forever will slowly become strangers. Some will leave quietly. Others will leave loudly, taking pieces of your trust with them. Some will know your secrets and treat them like stories to entertain other people. That betrayal will hurt more than you expect. You’ll want to give everyone another chance because you have such a kind heart. Never lose that kindness but remember that forgiveness doesn’t always require another invitation back into your life. Some people are lessons, not lifelong friends.
There will be nights when you cry yourself to sleep wondering what you did wrong. You’ll replay conversations over and over in your head, wishing you had said something different. I wish I could sit beside you then, wrap you in the biggest hug, and remind you of another line from Laufey’s song: “I wish I could go back and give you a squeeze.” If I could, I’d tell you that none of those moments define you. The tears won’t last forever, even though they feel endless while they’re happening.
Please stop apologizing for taking up space. Stop thinking your quiet moments make you boring or your loud moments make you too much. You don’t have to earn your place in people’s lives by being perfect. The people who are meant for you won’t ask you to become someone else first.
Most importantly, don’t give up on yourself. There will be days filled with tears, disappointment, rejection, and fear. There will be moments when it feels like nobody sees your effort. But those days won’t last forever. One day you’ll stand somewhere you once only dreamed about. Maybe it won’t be exactly the stage you imagined, but you’ll stand there knowing you made it because you refused to quit.
As Laufey reminds us, “The days of tears and failure fears and no one cares…” won’t be the end of your story. They are only pages, not the whole book.
So keep going, little Montreana.
Keep believing.
Keep dreaming.
And above all else, keep loving the girl you’re becoming.
With all the love you haven’t learned to give yourself yet,
Montreana Lee – Fenwick High School – DMSF Class of 2030
Photo Credit: Montreana Lee