Dear Brooke,
As you turn nine years old you may not realize now but you were struggling with your image and mental health tremendously. Which unfortunately changed the way you portrayed yourself. You had enhanced bad habits and portrayed yourself poorly.
Your parents never helped, you never asked. You didn’t know at the time but you do now. You were scared they would see you differently and lash out since they were still growing and changing because of the life they had before you, as you were and are. You should have asked. You would have changed your growth. You shouldn’t have buried your emotions because you thought someone else couldn’t handle or understand why an 8-9 year old girl had such “big emotions” at the time. You are your fathers favorite even if you didn’t know it at the time. He may not have understood your emotions because he was dealing with his own, however in his heart you always come first. Communication would have taken you a much further way than where you are as you write this. Even though you overwork yourself and do it constantly, trust in yourself. It is so hard for you but you have grown from it. It is okay to prioritize yourself and help yourself grow. It took you so long to realize that it is possible to help yourself and to stop prioritizing other things or people before yourself. Brooke, don’t show that you are better than everyone else in a negative way. You may think I am a bad person for saying this but it will take you so much further in life if you stay humble. So much more connections, relationships, opportunities and to be liked by everyone. Not in a fake way anymore. Be confident but don’t over do it.This is a very crucial lesson to learn but listen. I know you are smart enough to understand where I am coming from.
Everyone jokes about how the middle child is the most forgettable person in a family. You have to set goal after goal to achieve something you may have thought was impossible. After hours and hours of work you barely made it because you didn’t know how to push yourself in the right way. Something you learn in the future is that your younger brother has lower standards than you and your older sister. To your mother he is everything a child is meant to be. She enjoys his laughter and looks. This teaches you that life may not always be fair. That it is your job to strive and thrive on my own. Even if you are a favorite child, you discover that there is more to life than waiting for something to be fair. You have to make the change. It may not be soon or instant but in the end will be a great relief and accomplishment. So just go. Keep thriving and don’t ever compare yourself to others even if you feel that you should. You are your own person and you can work through things on your own. Don’t compare; Don’t overshare.
Later you became the core academic and athletic daughter. You always knew that being smart and athletic are your qualities. Congratulations! You are the first to get a scholarship for boarding/private high school. You worked so hard but after a while good grades and being great at sports were no longer an achievement but a normality. You finally realize it once you find out you have depression. You stopped working and let one grade slip. You had a low B. But hey only your academics matter right? You had stretched yourself too thin and couldn’t even stand the sight of food. Was sacrificing your mental and physical health for sports and academics worth it? Yes and no. I wish you didn’t put yourself through that but it is too late to unlearn overwork especially because you caught up and surpassed many others in your class. We strive and persevere until we feel those little moments of achievement. The same feeling you got when you fell in love with sports or got your first scholarship.The only advice to give is to pace yourself, stay humble and don’t compare or overshare. It isn’t all about you but stay yourself. I promise you will get further.
Brooke Fitzmaurice – Brooks School – DMSF Class of 2030
Photo Credit: jiao tang – Pixabay