The difference between where you live, how you live, and who you choose to be around can affect you in ways only you know. For me, I found that out very early on.
For me, that difference became clear when I moved from Bellwood, IL. Where you see your neighbors playing in the front yard, you live a few houses down from your classmates, and you can go to the park nearby without looking over your shoulder every few minutes. To downtown Chicago, the buses ran day and night, sirens went off, and neighbors introduced themselves a few months later. I left behind the familiar and the comfort to enter the unknown, where everything felt fresh – new faces, new expectations, and new challenges. It wasn’t a known thing as well; it was a forceful stop, a pause in life. All because of an address. All because my parents’ id’s didn’t match the address given to the office computer. That’s how little things can happen before your life gets changed and you take a 180-degree turn. At the time, I believed remaining silent would shield me from embarrassment or rejection. What I didn’t realize was that it was hiding me from opportunities to grow into the person I was meant to become. That’s why I’m writing this letter to you. Right now, you may feel out of place, unsure of yourself, and afraid of self-advocacy. But what you don’t know yet is that you are very different from the ones around you, and it’s up to you to understand that difference and use it as your strength.
If I could share one thing with you, it’s this: you don’t have to shirk yourself to fit into a new environment. The friendships, confidence, and sense of belonging you’re searching for won’t come from staying invisible; they’ll come from allowing yourself to be seen. I’d like to say that I learned the hard way. I put myself around individuals who were so focused on what they were doing that they didn’t care who was around them. I changed myself to fit into a group I know won’t help me get scholarships or go to the colleges of my dreams.
At first, I thought fitting in meant doing what everyone else was doing. Since my older sister had already gone there, I wasn’t introduced by Aaralyn, I was known as “Amarie’s little sister.” It felt like a completely different world walking into school. Classmates were play-fighting, using AI, etc. That was the norm for me. Teachers cared more that the work was turned in rather than the effort. Seeing that changed how I viewed school. I started hanging out around the school, getting home late, and didn’t do work myself. Before I realized it, I had stopped treating school like a place to learn and started treating it like somewhere to just get by. It wasn’t until that teacher believed in me and held me to a higher standard that I realized how far I had drifted from the person I always dreamed of.
A quote that has stuck with me since I learned to be more open is, “Quiet people have the loudest minds.” – Stephen Hawking. You have to learn and remember that. Just because you’re not the first person to raise your hand or the first person to get up when a teacher asks for a volunteer doesn’t mean you’re less worthy and intelligent than the ones around you. You will also meet this one brave, selfless, heartfelt teacher. She will make you feel like you have a place in every room that you walk into. She will help you get the care that you deserve. And she will make sure you’re sitting down in a program called Summer Bridge, writing this blog, making sure you have what you need so you can do it without her.
It won’t be easy to move from school to school or adapt to different environments, but you will learn to navigate those changes. Learn how to be the extraordinary in the ordinary. I know because I did. Those experiences will help shape you into the person I am today—a Murphy Scholar who isn’t afraid to dream bigger than the day before and reach higher than the stars above.
Aaralyn Owens-Phillips – De La Salle Institute – DMSF Class of 2030
Photo Credit: ElisaRiva – Pixabay